Xdating profiles

These side-splitting online profiles can be witty, crazy, or just plain stupid, but at least they’re memorable. A lot of guys paint a picture of their ideal date — dinner, movie, makeout session, etc.

But one 22-year-old single took this trope to ridiculous and glorious levels on his dating profile.

I enjoy [activity] with my friends or watching [popular television show or movie] on my own. Of course, writing a funny and attractive dating profile is no easy task.

OK, so this isn’t exactly a legit dating profile, but it is really funny so it goes on the list. Nothing with Gene Hackman or Kevin Spacey” as a nod to his cinematic arch enemies.

“I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, ‘No, I knew this was gonna happen.’ And then I kiss you.

In front of my burning car.” This imaginative profile, courtesy of Tumblr, entertains online daters with an amusing story. What works for one person can be taken too far by another.

Reluctant online dater dont_email_me lives in Texas, and he is very clear about what type of woman he wants: “If I can’t bounce a quarter off your inner thigh, hit the gym, not the ‘send’ button.” Charming.

“Okay, here’s the thing,” dont_email_me wrote in his self-summary, “I receive tens of thousands of emails a day and I can’t possibly take the time to read all of them. All I know is, please don’t send me an email if we aren’t at least 100% match and 0% enemies.” Message received. Savanah, age 22, is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Her picture shows her leaning against the railing of a bridge with sunglasses covering her eyes. Not a lot of skin showing and no clues to her personality.

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Jake describes picking his date up in his Kia Sorento with lit candles in the car.

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