Im not dating anymore
Only now, when I sit down to count it out, so I realize that I've been single for three years – because I've never once questioned myself about it.I've had bigger priorities, and in retrospect, looking back at all the weird places my life has taken me in the past few years, I can't imagine the strain of trying to keep something up with someone without limiting my options. It's not like a "thing"; I'm not out on some crusade to be single.It just happens that I'm not dating, and I'm not especially going out of my way to change that.There is something so inorganic and weird about being set up with somebody. I've been in love before and I'm not going to settle for anything less than that.I know it sometimes works for other people, but when you're already disinterested in dating in the first place, it usually leads to an awkward encounter and an awkward goodbye where you feel like a total jerk for not wanting to go out again. You know that feeling when it happens, and it's so much better than dating someone for convenience. It totally makes sense for me to buckle under societal pressure and do what everybody around me is doing at the expense of my happiness.If I happen to meet someone there, then it will be a lucky coincidence, not because I sat through the world's most boring book club to make eyes at someone. My life isn't going to be somehow less worthwhile if I don't find one of them. A guy I went on a date once in high school called me the "Ice Bitch" when I declined to kiss him on the first date (he kissed me anyway, so let me take this opportunity to say eight years after the fact: you're a tool, sir).I'm sorry about your great-aunt who never settled down and never had kids and regretted it. I don't need a man to do any of the things I want out of life, having kids included. I'm aware that all this keeping to myself is not necessarily typical of people my age, especially when I have no religious reasons or personal beliefs stopping me from dating.
Having some sort of weird dating agenda would just suck all the fun out of it. I think we all have plenty of people in the world that we would be happy with.I'm a proactive person; if there was some major hole in my life, I would fill it.If I felt lonely, I would make changes to not feel lonely.I have worked hard for the things I've wanted to make of myself, and being able to make snap decisions that I knew wouldn't drastically affect another person has been crucial to every little success.And as archaic as this sounds, I can't date people I don't see myself marrying. I'm just simply not attracted to people I don't see a future with, and right now I'm at a place in my life where I'm not ready to commit to anyone anyway.