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Marriage, as anyone who's tried it can attest, is an ongoing project. After 16 years together, their goal is to appreciate rather than resent their differences. For example, when Ilusion gets hurt, it can take her a while to get over it.And both Millans are searchers who've delved into all manner of selfhelp literature (the D. And during that period, as she searches to understand what exactly has led her to feel as she does, she wants Cesar to be sweet to her—even though, she acknowledges, she's not being very sweet to him. What few know is that before he became the Dog Whisperer, his wife rehabilitated him. "He was having a hard time loving me, because of his past, because he just wasn't a people person," Ilusion says, leaning forward so her knees almost touch her husband's. Today, more than 10 million viewers a week hear the D. repeat, mantralike, that he rehabilitates dogs and trains people. says, recalling the dark day 15 years ago when Ilusion—fed up with her husband's harsh indifference—moved out with their infant son.' " he cries, issuing an avalanche of Spanish invective.

The therapist helped her to see that Cesar was using the animals he utterly understood to try to begin to understand one he couldn't: his wife.

"I was there in my heart, but my heart was blocked." When Cesar was growing up on a farm in Culiacán, Mexico, his affinity for canines earned him the nickname El Perrero, or "the dog man." It also got him teased.

"He was afraid to love anybody." "I didn't do it with humans, that's all," Cesar says, matter-of-factly.

"But she doesn't apply the same thing to herself," Cesar says. "I would like to have sex with you even though I'm angry." Ilusion rolls her eyes.

When Ilusion is upset, he's supposed to be patient and cuddle her, "which is opposite of what she'd do if I were going through my process." Ilusion appraises him unflinchingly. I go to sadness, and for a woman, being sad, you want comforting. Anyone who's watched Dog Whisperer With Cesar Millan knows that while dog owners may think their dogs are the problem, actually the problem is them.

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